Bah Hum Bug

Well I made it through September, my dad did not come home for our birthdays. I was pissed but realized I was going to be so busy that I would not get much time with him anyway.

It is now approaching Christmas and this time last year is when my mom got sick. It is hitting me very hard. Every memory I have - good or bad - is just another reminder that she is not here any more. I miss her so much. I never knew it would hurt this bad. My first Christmas without my mom....does not make for a joyful Christmas.

I would say my dad is not handling things well either. On the outside he talks tough but his actions are loud and clear. He wants to get rid of everything that has anything to do with THEM or HER. So much that he even decided to sell the house at the lake. My knight in shining armor came to the rescue and made him an offer. After some hard dealings we finally all came to an agreement. My dad was/is an ass about it and it has put a strain on our relationship. We are know having to PURCHASE the lake house instead of it be given to us as promised for the last 20 something years.

At this point I am looking to make next year a better one and focus on me and my family. Time for me to be selfish! Tony and Lynsie are the reason I get out of bed each day.

September Sadness

Well these last few months have not been easy. I am still trying to find ways to cope with the loss of my mom. Our birthdays are just around the corner and I am struggling to get excited about my birthday. To get to my birthday I have to get through hers. My dad is out of town in Kansas. I am not happy that he has been gone for over a month. On top of that he fell and got pretty banged up and I am not there to take care of him.

I take one day at a time and some are easier than others. Tony and Lynsie have been so good to help make things easier. I am so blessed to have such a great support team.

My cousin Carolyn passed away last week. Makes me sad that my dad missed that service.

So now I am trying to stay busy with organizing the house and organizing my computer. It is almost time for our annual pumpkin carving party !! I am looking forward to seeing friends and taking the opportunity to get caught up.

I miss my mom in so many ways.

I miss Tim. We were not always close after school but the last 4 years we saw each and kept in touch during the year. I have a new friend in Dawn and his passing has brought us closer.

RIP TIM

On June 10th 2012 My dearest friend Tim Kolman lost his life. It was tragic accidental shooting. My heart breaks knowing I would have been seeing him in a few weeks. My thoughts are with Dawn is long time girl friend and his family. After the loss of my mom - this is hitting me harder than expected. RIP Tim I miss you and will always cherish the friendship we had! EaT CaKe !! 4Low RIP TIM

Cancun Mexico for Lynsie's 21 birthday !

tuts

http://countrybug.blogspot.com/

Loss of my best friend

On January 3 2012 I lost my mom and best friend. She was
having issues with her breathing since Thanksgiving.
We knew her time was limited and we were making the
best of it but we thought we had MORE time than just
6 weeks. I spent about 10 hours a day with her and my
dad each day helping in every way. My heart is broken
and I my tears are more for the sorrow of the things
she will miss. I LOVE YOU MOM!!